callingcolin

I am crude, sometimes.

And you know, I'd actually care more if  less people jumped on the bandwagon and "mourn". Like really, did you guys even care before she died?

Oh please, disgusting.

Well at least I'm honest.

If you ever wanted to see yourself in video spots like those on TV, now's your chance!

My good friend from Discovery is looking for a guy to play the role of a youth for a Dads for Life video.

It is a story where Dad isn't always there for his son when he was needed most. And how Dad comes to realise he is too late to make up for the lost precious moments when the son, now, fully grown up is living independent of his father.

Who?
- Chinese male
- 20-22 years old (or looks within that range)

What?
- Little acting
- No lines
- Paid! =)

When?
- Shoot is on 29th Sept (Wed) afternoon, for about 2 hours.

Interested candidates please contact Eileen_Lim@discovery.com directly.

The joy of a child for he knows no hardship, shame or pain.
He who feels like one and knows of nothing is the happiest.

It's amazing to see how a young girl whose leg was in cast, seated in a wheelchair, and under the many watchful eyes of random people could still smile and be so exuberant when pushed across the room.

=)

How do get out of your comfort zone?

I wanna get something started, it's not that I'm afraid of failure, hmm maybe subconsciously.. Still, if knowing that your parachute is a hundred percent safe, will you still take that leap of faith?

I would, but my legs won't, so someone kick my butt.

Jealousy, a petty emotion for the dependent who never feel quite secure in certain ways.

And although it's not as heavily emphasized as it's counterpart, envy- one of the seven deadly sins, results can prove disastrous when gotten out of hand.

I'm talking about jealousy in relationships. You see it in some people the moment their partners start giving more attention to someone else. Some others just won't feel it even when their partners are making out with someone right in front of them.

But when is a little jealousy a little too much?

How is it that a stupid feeling based on an overactive imagination, is able to affect us so much?

Can jealousy ever be a warning sign for infidelity?

If so, which is the greater sin? Jealousy or infidelity?

Wait, why is it even so that jealousy automatically links to infidelity?


Due to some personality and mentality differences, I'm feeling a little jealous because of boyfriend's actions. Not that there's actually anything wrong with what he did, but I just can't seem to shake off that nasty feeling.

I think it's time for me to define my own boundary, to sort of keep check of I should feel. Hmm, let's see...

Okay, as long as my feelings of jealousy are not associated with mistrust or suspicion, nor any intentions of hurting him, I shall be fine. Also, whenever I start getting jealous, I have to be honest about my feelings with my partner and myself. Alright, I guess this will do for now, sandman's calling.

I don't want to be the one half who is looking for the other half to complete him.

I want to be a complete, self-sufficient individual who looks for someone similar to share his life with.

And it's kinda difficult for that to happen anytime soon. I need a house, a home to call mine. I can't wait for my National Service to end and for school to start so I can start saving up for my home

I want a dog, I want my own kitchen, I want to sleep on a BED, I don't want to keep moving from one place to another, knowing it's only temporary.

My mom's right, the most important thing is to have a shelter over your head.

A rotated three,
An angled 'V'
A form that now evokes.

The tears, the joy
The drama, the fights,
It's time to learn to cope.

Love once lost,
And now to be found,
Who cares if we don't elope.

An angled 'V'
A rotated three,
If only...

It's not back to a slippery slope.


It's a scary thing how I wanted to add in a "for now" after typing out "I am happy". Because you don't see things like "I am sad, for now" or "life sucks, for now". Negative feelings just don't associate with optimism. So why is my positive feeling associated with pessimism? It is as if at the back of my mind, this happiness isn't going to last.

But do I feel that way? No, not at all really. I may be a little afraid of losing what we have now, but a fear like that is based on nothing but paranoia, and thus, is redundant. Convince, convince, convinced. =)

Okay now, heavy thoughts aside, just to let you guys know, I'll be going back to Survivor: Pulau Tekong for my BMT recourse on 6th July. Boyfriend wanted to be there with me on that day, despite me saying how I'll be fine and it's not worth taking a day of leave from work.

And he dropped this text, (Singlish intentionally retained) "Haiyo, last time you go, got your dad and ex to accompany you mah, so this time round if can must have people also... Daughter marry second time also marriage mah, where got such thing don't attend the wedding one?"

What an analogy.

If there's one thing which I truly admire about myself (there really isn't much), it has to be this, that no matter how many times I've been hurt badly by failed relationships, I find myself always ready to love almost as soon as the previous one is over. I guess I just heal pretty fast.

I've been warned by people, to not get involved in another relationship that quickly. And it's not that I don't understand their concerns; you've got to know that the other party hasn't done anything wrong to deserve your cold shoulder, ever-changing temperament, on and off passion and other crazy antics of yours.

So yes, it all comes down to whom you love more; yourself or him? You love yourself more if you intentionally close yourself up, so as to protect yourself from potential heartbreaks. If you love him more, then you'll actually see that intentional distancing is a cruel thing to do and you'll actually want him to know that you want to be there with him.

Anyway this is just how I think/feel. Mummy said, "你知道什么是痛, 如果你还是要去, 那就给你再去痛多几次". Hmm, still, I choose to love.

Question: Say, if your horoscope matches badly with someone's, would you ever consider the possibility of a romantic relationship. If not, how affected will you be?

Because I need someone to talk some sense into me.

When I just got enlisted into the army, I couldn't cope with the sudden change of environment. The regimentation, the people, and the freedom, which I so used to take for granted. It affected me more than it should, I think.

I was on the verge of becoming the epitome of depression. To make myself feel better, I would open the black "My Army Days" notebook, and start to pen down thoughts, feelings, inspirations and sometimes, bo liao nonsense in either writing or illustrations.

I'd now like to share a little story with all of you. And even though this relates to my life in NS, if you feel stuck in a trapped situation, and is a hopeless romantic like me, then you pretty much can connect with this.